Moving on

Dad has a girlfriend. I hate her for no other reason than that she is not you. We have been cleaning out your house. Soon to be mu house. It makes me cry. It's just stuff. It's not you but it makes it more real that you are gone. I miss you so much. Why does this not get any easier?

pictures

Dear Mom,

I still can't change your picture on my phone. I feel guilty. It is stupid because I hate looking at your photos I miss you so much. I wish you had taken more pics. I want more pictured of you and yet avoid the ones I have.
I found a gift for mother in law for mothers day. I don't really even want to buy it because it just doesn't seem fair that I can't get you one.
Baby girl is fussy tonight. We go see a surgeon tomorrow to see if they want to do a surgery. I don't think they will. I do want her comfortable and sometimes think she is in pain. I don't know how you did it. Parenthood is hard. I miss myself at times.
I remember that you took time for you and that has taught me that it is OK to still be me.
Love you xoxo

Dear Mom

Today baby girl is 14 weeks. She has been in the pavlik harness for two weeks. It is hard. Boy I wish you were here to give me tips. Sometimes she cries so much now and it breaks my heart. Thank you for going through all of this with me. I get it now.

Grief

I am grieving. I was told that writing will help. I created this spot as a place to write. I would also like to open it up for others to post too.

I lost my mom in April of last year. I miss her more than I could ever have imagined.

These will be my letters to her and yours too if you choose.